How to "Unlearn" From Experience

Our past experiences don't always serve us in the present...

When I was growing up in Colorado, my dad was a rock climbing instructor and just about every summer/fall weekend would find us up in the Rockies dangling from ropes hundreds of feet above the ground. I still know how to knot the rope around my waist, and if I ever find myself disposed to climb up a rock face – I know the calls: “On Belay” Ready to Climb” “Climb!” “Climbing!” Now it is decades later, and I would never claim to be a technical rock climber, but those calls and associations are still deep inside me. And I remember the balance between meditation and stimulation that I felt in taking on a rock face. But unfortunately, many years later, I was dropped about 10 feet onto my back at the local rock gym.  This accident required a two year recovery, and became an experiential learning with even stronger associations. I will probably never go back on the wall. This makes me sad, but my health insurer is much happier.

Why is it so easy to hang onto the negative discoveries we learn about ourselves, our world, each other? Yes, I know about the amygdala – but if this one primitive corner of our brain has the power to override potential benefits of new experiences, how will we grow? Develop? Evolve?

Additionally, if we bring too many of these associations into our workplace culture, and we are surrounded by similar, amygdala – driven decision-making… how will our company culture spur the needed innovation to change, grow and thrive?

A large medical facility I know – let’s call them Central Health, recently took a very risky action – they shut the entire place down and had an employee day at a local hotel – focused on one question…. What is Your WHY? The premise was sound, HR was very excited about getting buy in from the top brass – The employees would surely appreciate a day solely dedicated to building morale and team spirit – but the entire day was deemed a disastrous waste of time by everyone present. Why? They had failed to do due diligence on the working styles and dynamics that made up their company culture. If they had, they would have discovered that a large and powerful group of middle managers – largely responsible for setting the “tone” of their workplace – were ISTJ’s – Myers-Briggs code for Introverted, Sensory, Thinking, Judging – the skill set least likely to be thrilled by the chance to stand up in front of others and extemporaneously launch into a spirited speech on Why they Love their Job and their Company! Central Health will of course, recover from the day….. but will they ever attempt another What is Your Why? Don’t bet on it.

If you worked in HR at Central Health, and could see the benefits of building team morale, how might you possibly get your workforce to unlearn the negative lessons from this experience?

Own the mistake: Better for you to state simply and clearly what everyone else is rumbling and grumbling and making jokes about anyway. This way you can articulate what you know to be the costs of the experience, and offer them a venue to voice anything you may have missed. This frames the endeavor as part of a learning continuum, and you as a decision maker able to model grace and accountability going forward.

Take a realistic look at what you were hoping to achieve relative to the realities of what will support that achievement in your workplace. Central Health wanted employees to come away with an invigorated renewal of purpose and more trust within working teams, so that the innovation necessary to thrust Central Health into the future can begin to grow. Given the prevalence of one communication style, the question becomes – how can ISTJ’s in particular be most effectively engaged in attaining this goal? OR, how can teams of ISTJ’s be integrated, at least within decision making groups, with other styles that might balance and expand the dynamic towards productive and innovative outcomes?

Start Small: I’ve been thinking about a book that has informed my work over the years. You may have found it useful as well - Chip and Dan Heath’s book Switch – Shrink the Change. As I work with the Positive Intelligence mindset coaching model, I find myself encouraging clients to identify a few small changes that can be consistently applied over a span of time. Maybe meetings and working groups – including virtual groups – begin with a new “ritual”: a structured way to check in or report out on a project…. Make it mandatory to attend, be patient, and after awhile, even the most hard nosed resistor in your group will get used to and defend the structure – because it has become part of “the way we do things around here”.

Need to create change in your own life or your team’s productivity? A shift in Mindset might be easier than it feels right now. Connect with me for a FREE 45 minute exploratory session!

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Released by Routledge Publishing & winner of a North American Book Award!